Agnes

It's been nearly a year since I have posted in here. I forgot I had one.

Life is grand.
:-D

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

I'm back home unfortunately. :( Cedar Point was a blast. It was nice to get away with my boyfriend for a few days.
We got a caricature of us. It's hilarious.
Top Thrill Dragster is amazing, especially at night.
I love him. <3

"Arms down. Arms Down"
"Wow time's wow time."
"DONUT!"

Girls night out today. It was overdue.

I had so much fun. Jessica had an extra ticket to the Jessica Simpson concert and since Randizzle was out with his parents, I decided to go. The conert wasn't that great, but the company was. After the concert, we were pushing through the crowd pretending we couldn't find our mom. People got really mad. Oh well. Then we screamed, "Where's the party at?" to a bunch of random people driving around. Then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. The guy working there was really nice. We took a picture with him. We walked outside and realized Jess left her keys in her car. The guy at Buffalo Wild Wings called the cops for us. He was cool.

It was so nice to get away from guys for a day. :)
What a great night.

"ANNNIIIEEE... MOMMY!"
"Brian!!!!"
"Where's the party at?!"

Haha... <3

Bed Time.

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will.

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away.

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone.

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain.
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means.
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes.
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love...
Leave while there's still hope for escape.
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret.
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it.
But tell me just what has it ever meant.

I can't help it baby, this is who I am.
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel.
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break.
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away.

Hmm...

Happy Birthday, Monika. <3

And I quote... "You feel like you could never love someone more but you have no idea how much more someone could love you."

I don't think I have ever heard anything more true.

Time to rant in friends only and private entries...

You know you did it
I'm gone
To find someone to live for
In this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You're wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone.

The bet is on. I got this. I want another shirt. Haha <3

Body:
1.When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? Eyesocket. Haha, Eliana. <3

2.How much cash do you have on you? After spending about $200 today because I had a rough day, I don't have much left.

3.What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Zest.

4.Favorite plant? Uhhhh... no idea.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Let me check. This guy named Vito that I met at a party. I keep ignoring his phone calls. I do not want to go to dinner with you, homo. Stop calling. :)

6.What is your main ring tone on your phone? NFL Football song, but special people have their own ringer.

7.What shirt are you wearing? A shirt Jeff bought for me today that says, "You must be 21 to enjoy this ride." :)

8.Do you "label" yourself? No, I do not. K.

9.Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? I am shoeless.

10.Bright or Dark Room? Dark.

11.What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Karye.... cool girl and I'm glad we don't have anything against each other anymore. :) <3

12.Ever "spilled the beans"? Shut up.

13.What were you doing at midnight last night? I had just gotten into my car with Jeff after picking up some stuff from Meijers.

14.What did your last text message you recieved on your cell phone say? Damn, these questions are getting all up in my business. I do not want to answer this one... because I don't feel like it. :)

15.Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? Never. They make me want to punch my computer multiple times.

16.What's a saying that you say a lot? Nigs. Homo.

17.Who told you they loved you last? :( He hasn't said it in a while, so probably Eliana.

18.Last furry thing you touched? My new kitty. He knows when I am upset so he has been by me all night.

19.How many hours a week do you work? Zero.

20.How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? None, but I have to send pictures to my friends from Cancun.

21.Favorite age you have been so far? Everything was so simple when I was young. :-\

22.Your worst enemy? I don't hate people until they fuck with me... or my car for no fucking reason. Katrina, you're an awful person.

23.what is your current desk top picture? Lmao... the bot. E, you know what I am talking about.

24.what was the last thing you said to someone? "It's hard to say that, but I just want him to be happy."

25.If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time to fix all of your mistakes, which would you pick? At this point, It would be tempting to fix everything that has happened in the last month, but I learned from my mistakes. I would take the million dollars.

No boyfriend. No problems. Right?

WRONG.

... continued in a friends only entry and probably a private one as well. :-\

Yawn... I can't believe I'm actually tired at a reasonable hour. It's amazing. I got my car fixed today!! After that, I went to Adam's house and watched the Notebook. He kept asking me to take him out and I kept asking him to take me out, so we just ordered pizza. :) Heh, it was a lot of fun. I'm glad we got things straightened out. <3

Yesterday was a blast too. Jeff and I were out all day. First we went to his work to pick something up and then to the mall. He bought dippin' dots for my fat ass. Mmmm. We walked around for a bit and headed to the movies. He really did not want to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but it didn't take much convincing. :) After admitting that he actually enjoyed the movie, we went to Olive Garden. Then we went bowling and he beat me the first game, but I killed him in the next two to make up for it. I lost badly in the last game though. :( I met his friends later on that night. Nick was wayyyyyyyy too into the the racing game he was playing. I am done with guys that play games 24-7. Rick was so sweet to his girlfriend when she called. I want someone like that. :-\ Kenny was cute. He left the apartment the same time Jeff and I did and rode his motorcycle next to us. He got pulled over for doing a wheelie. The cop came out of no where. I felt so bad. :( I was too tired to stay long at Jeff's house, so we called it a day. Sorry for making you broke hun. <3

Sigh...

Scott: I can't believe you're that weak.

Something has to change.

I'm missing your bed,
I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets.
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it, "I'll love you always and forever"

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder how you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere.. with anyone... making out.
I'm missing your laugh,
how did it break?
And when did your eyes
begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
I'm cuddling close to blanket and sheets.
I am alone in my defeat.
I wish I knew you were safely at home.

Wooo... that was possibly the GREATEST entry I have ever written. Venting makes me feel a lot better even if I am a bitch in the process. If you want to read it, just ask and I will show you.

Relationships suck, but they make for good FANTASTIC journal entries.

Age of first kiss: Summer after 7th grade... 13.
Number of people you've kissed: Heh... enough.
French kissing is: Good stuff.
The worst kind of kiss is: Too much tongue... and when you feel like you are getting eaten by the person. I do not want to feel any teeth. Yuck.
The best kisser you know: There are a few.
The worst kisser you know: I know more awful kissers than good kissers. What a tragedy.
Do you kiss on the first date? Yes.
Eyes open or closed? Definitely closed.
Ever kissed a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend? No I have not.
Best kind of kiss: Slow, passionate, not much tongue.
Have you kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. :-\
What about the opposite sex? No shit. :)
Do you consider kissing cheating? Yes... most definitely.
The longest you've gone without a kiss: Umm... less than a month.
The kiss you regret most is: There are 3.
Kissing in public is: Not a big deal... shows that the guy cares about ya.
Lip rings: Never kissed someone with a lip ring. It would be interesting.
Somone you hope to kiss in the future: Eh.
Tongue rings are: Sweet.
Two girls kissing is: Hotter than 2 guys kissing
Two guys kissing is: not attractive.

Last Cigarette: Never... gross.

Last Alcoholic Drink: I cannot even remember the last time I had anything to drink. I'm proud. :)

Last Car Ride: Back home from Randy's house. :( I miss him.

Last Kiss: About an hour ago... <3

Last Good Cry: They are never good. I cried the other day, but not a lot. It doesn't count. The last time I really really cried was when I was in mega trouble with Randy. :-P

Last Library Book checked out: Pfffft. Probably something for my econ paper.

Last Movie Seen in Theatres: Mr. and Mrs. Smith... -swoons- Brad Pitt.

Last Book Read: Cry, the Beloved Country. Good book.

Last Movie Rented: Baseketball

Last Cuss Word Uttered: "Fuck".... They were spoken a couple hours ago at Randys. ;-)

Last Beverage Drank: H20

Last Food Consumed: Banana

Last Crush: Before Randy.... it was Brandon I believe.

Last Phone Call: Just called my baby to say Hi a couple minutes ago.

Last TV Show Watched: The Sports List

Last Time Showered: 6 hours ago.

Last Shoes Worn: White heels

Last CD Played: A girly mix that I made.

Last Item Bought: A bra... wait, no. It was contact solution.

Last Download: Do not know. Do not care.

Last Annoyance: -Thinks- Scott I think. Nooooo.... everyone questioning my away message. That was stupid.

Last Disappointment: I do not remember.

Last Soda Drank: A sip of Randys cola.

Last Thing Written: I have no idea.

Last Key Used: .

Last Word Spoken: "You"

Last Sleep: It was not long enough.

Last IM: From Noah Wolfe.

Last Sexual Fantasy: fakjdhkahdfjasd Saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy biotches.

Last Weird Encounter: What.

Last Ice Cream Eaten: OLD COUNTRY BUFFET WITH EESIF. WE HAD FUN.

Last Time Amused: Old people at old country buffet were funny.

Last Time Wanting To Die: Uhh, never. I am not psycho.

Last Time In Love: Scott? .... long time ago.

Last Time Hugged: 1.5 hours ago.

Last Time Scolded: Earlier today for my away message.

Last Time Resentful: Don't knowwwwwww.

Last Chair Sat In: Your mom.

Last Lipstick Used: Mac Lipgloss.

Last Underwear Worn: Beige boy shorts.

Last Bra Worn: Beige.

Last Shirt Worn: Beige. I matched today. Heh.

Last Webpage Visited: Myspace.com

Katrina, you are the most stupid and immature person I have ever come across. You are what I hate most about girls. You are an exact fucking replica of it. You hate me for some unknown reason. Maybe because you are jealous? That is the only possible reason I can come up with. I owned you so bad you had to fuck with my car and act like a god damn 10 year old. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when I saw you at McDonalds. I really didn't think you were pathetic enough to do shit to my car. I was completely wrong. Then back at school you decide to SEARCH for my car and put some more food on it. How ignorant can you be? I have not spoken a single fucking word to you in two years. You must be afraid of me. Why else would you pull some bull shit on the LAST day you will ever be at Whitney Young? I feel sorry for everyone who has to deal with you. You are a wacky and worthless piece of shit. You have to lie to get your way out of shit. You're a horrible person and I hope Daniel fucking realizes it soon. I hope he leaves you hanging and you get hurt beyond belief. I want to rip out your fucking spine... and not feel bad about it.

Way to IM me on Daniels screen name. I'm bitter because Daniel didn't lose his virginity to me? HAHA, way to make ridiculous assumptions. Where the fuck do you get your information? You can have Daniel. I do not want him, especially since he has been with you. You say other people hate me? Do you honestly think I give a fuck? The people who do not like me, do not know me. I don't give a crap if some random slut at Whitney Young has a problem with me, but thanks for letting me know. Fucking Moron.

Oh, try being a little bit more discreet if you are going to cheat on your boyfriend. Pathetic little whore.

On a lighter note, I love you Randizzle. <3